


Limerence

by TheRealBurgerKing



Category: 24U
Genre: He also has self-esteem issues, He fell in love and now he's sad, Hongseob flashback, Hongseob is bullied at first, Hongseob’s characterization is based on the author, Jinhong helps him and Hongseob falls in love, Jinhong is clueless, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealBurgerKing/pseuds/TheRealBurgerKing
Summary: Limerence: noun; the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily fora sexual relationship.When you were young, you saved me.When I was young, I fell in love with you.When you were grown, you loved her.When I was grown, I said goodbye for the last time.





	Limerence

**Author's Note:**

> I based this story partially on the song If by Taeyeon.

“Congratulations,” I told him. “I’m so happy for you.” It’s okay; I’m okay. I know our friends are watching me closely, watching my reaction. It’s okay; I’m okay. Life goes on, right? The sun keeps shining, the Earth remains in its orbit. My skies may be raining and dismal, but his sun is shining. It’s okay; I’m okay.

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
Back then, I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t have friends. Every day, I ate lunch under the cherry tree, alone. It wasn’t that bad, honestly. The tree gifted me beautiful flowers and sweet cherries in the spring. I was left alone with my thoughts. 

But sometimes… I wished I could share my thoughts with someone. Sometimes… I wished I could re-gift the flowers and cherries to someone.

When that day came, it wasn’t in the way I had imagined. You know, the normal way you make friends. Sit with another lone person at lunch, talk to them. That’s a blooming friendship right there.

But maybe I did imagine a friendship this way. Maybe I imagined a prince rescuing me from a dragon. I don’t know. I don’t remember. I must have been very young and naive, to think those kinds of fairy tale dreams could happen to me.

But it did. Just… it wasn’t a fairy tale. Or a dream. Rather… a sweet nightmare - I just didn’t recognize it until it was too late.

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
There was a river by my house. It twisted and turned its way through fields and forests, until it eventually fed into a lake. A big, deep, beautifully clear lake. My father would take me fishing in the lake, then we would swim in the river. Or vice versa. Either way worked.

As I got older, my father didn’t have the time to take me fishing. But it was okay. I wasn’t much a fan of it nowadays. However, I still enjoyed sitting on the bank, sticking my feet in the cool water and watching the osprey pair raise their chicks in the tall oak across the river. 

Nearby lived a daring, little crow-tit who didn’t seem to care about the ospreys. She just continued with her, rather slow, journey down the opposite bank, pecking at seeds and insects. I guess I befriended her, in a way. She learned to not be afraid of me, and would sometimes hop right next to me.

On that day, that special day, the river was full and rushing from the recent rains. The ospreys avoided the river, and Ms. Crow-tit remained in her nest. I, on the other hand, was apparently not as smart as the birds. 

I crossed the river, hopping from rock to rock, arms spread for balance. Just as I leapt forward, movement on the other side caught my eye. Distracted, only my toes landed on the rock and I fell, slamming my head on the flat rock. As my eyesight became hazy and darkness took over, I could make out the silhouette of a tall, blonde boy dashing out of the trees and diving into the river. And then I didn’t see anything anymore.

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
After what felt like an eternity, my eyes fluttered open. Blurry shapes and colors mixed together above me. A few blinks and I could recognize leaves and branches. I was in the forest, lying on my back in the sun. A minute passed, and I realized something else. 

Where’s my shirt?!?

By reflex, my hands flew to cover my naked chest, questions swimming through my still-dizzy brain. Where am I? How did I get here? Who was the boy and why was I shirtless?

As if my thoughts were spoken out loud, a boy’s face appeared in my line of sight. “Oh, you’re awake. Good.” The boy’s voice was silky, not high but not low. And he was damn good looking. This handsome elf prince or whatever just rescued me from drowning - of course this means I have to flirt with him now. Come on Hongseob, you got this. Just seduce him and you’re all set.

“You’re really pretty.”

Great job.

The boy blushed and smiled - and… is it just me or did the sun get hotter??? His smile was like the sun, moon and stars together; more beautiful than the wildflowers I brought my mother in the spring.

The boy disappeared, and for a single, horrible moment, I thought I had chased him away. But hands slid under my shoulders and lifted my chest gently. I was propped against a boulder, as one would with a ragdoll. Now that I could see, I realized I was on the other side of the river. My shirt was spread over a large, bushy… bush.

“Is your head feeling okay? You hit pretty hard and almost drowned. Thank goodness you weren’t bleeding - although, I don’t know how you managed it.” Though my head hurt when I moved it, I now had a much better view of Stranger Prince Boy Who Saved My Life - and that quite made up for the incessant pounding.

Stranger Prince Boy Who Saved My Life (or SPBWSML for short) was fit, with a slim build, and was probably pretty tall. SPBWSML’s eyes were big and sparkled slightly, like one of those slightly-disturbing My Little Ponies. As I took in the beauty of this creature, whom I decided could only be a Wood Elf Prince of some kind, I felt myself shivering.

SPBWSML’s eyes widened. “Are you cold? It is getting a bit late. Hmm. We can’t have you wear your shirt; it’s still wet, you’ll get sick… Here, wear mine.” Without hesitating, SPBWSML pulled off his T-shirt and began guiding it over my head.

“What about you? You’ll get sick, too.” Despite my protests, I did rather enjoy wearing his shirt. It felt… intimate, and it smelled good as well. SPBWSML also had a NICE body; no abs, but thin and powerful nonetheless.

“Don’t worry about me. You’re the one who’s soaked… I’m Jinhong, by the way. Kim Jinhong.”

“Shim Hongseob. Thanks for saving me; I would have died if it weren’t for you.” I brushed my bangs across my forehead. “...I should probably get home now. My parents will be wondering where I am.” Jinhong nodded and rose, helping me drag myself to my feet. Unfortunately, the moment I stood, my knees began to give. Jinhong caught me, and held me gently as I froze. Our faces were so close…

Jinhong cleared his throat, snapping me out of my reverie. I quickly straightened up, finding my bearings using his shoulder. However, as soon as I took a step, I began to fall again. Jinhong gripped my arms and turned me back toward him. As I looked to him curiously, he turned away and knelt. It wasn’t hard to guess what he was offering.

I weighed my options. I could refuse and save the rest of my ‘manly’ pride, while possibly pushing Jinhong away. Or I could accept his kind offer. This was honestly an easy decision. I could hitch a free ride, wrap my arms around his neck and fantasize, while also probably saving my brain any more trauma.

With that decided, I climbed onto Jinhong’s back. His skin was warm and soft, and he definitely smelled great. Did he wear cologne? Or did he naturally smell like apples? Either way, I found myself resting my throbbing head on his shoulder, nose brushing his neck.

Jinhong carried me as though I were a precious china doll, walking carefully through the trees. His scent, the feel of his heart beating, the breeze rustling the leaves lulled me into a drowsy state. I fought my eyelids as they grew heavier and heavier.

My sleepy brain barely registered the forest ending and the street beginning. We walked for a bit, until Jinhong’s quiet voice managed to wake me enough to ask me for directions to home.

“Keep following this street until the end, turn left, keep walking and then the blue house on the right is my family’s.” “Okay.”

Jinhong left me in the chair on the front porch and rang the doorbell, presumably to alert my mother, then disappeared with a last smile my way. As I watched him jog down the street, I wondered if I would see him again, and how I would return his shirt.

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
Another day dawned, and break was over. Another day of existing like a robot, walk from class to class, walk from school to home, do homework, stare at the wall for a bit, sleep. Repeat.

I dragged myself down the sidewalk to my high school. Part of me wanted to ditch school and wander the forest, vainly search for Jinhong. Maybe we could fall in love and run away to God knows where. That was probably more fun than going to school and learning about how X can equal anything if you believe.

Nevertheless, I pushed the urge down and followed my classmates into the school building. I ignored the panging disappointment in my heart, and tried to push thoughts of handsome, blonde men out of my head. ‘But you still have his shirt in your bag… And it still smells like him…’ My mind so helpfully reminded me. This morning was not starting well. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? Why did I want - no, need - to see him again so badly?

The morning passed like any other; Korean History class, to English class, to Theatre, to P.E. And finally lunch. Today was lucky, actually. I shouldn’t complain. Only five basketballs thrown at my head today. And only three of them were in P.E.! It was a good day.

When I approached my tree at lunch, I was surprised (and a bit miffed) to find that it was already occupied. By a blonde boy… who was tall… and facing the tree, staring into its branches. Who was this person? They must be new to the school - everyone knew that this specific cherry tree was Shim ‘Loser’ Hongseob’s tree.

As I walked closer, I heard the student talk to himself. “Oh. I guess he’s not in the tree… I wonder where he is?” The voice was familiar… Then he turned… And I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart did a shim sham shimmy all through my chest. I stared at this person staring at me, this not-so-strange stranger. A single word was on my tongue; a name.

Jinhong…

What was Jinhong doing under my tree? And why was he smiling like he saw something special? “Hongseob! You weren’t under your tree.”

I snapped out of my reverie and hurried to join him. “Sorry, I was at the nurse. How do you know this was my tree?”

Jinhong beamed like the sun had taken residence in his face. “It’s ok. I’m new here, and a student aide was giving me a tour. They pointed out this tree and said ‘this tree is Shim ‘Loser’ Hongseob’s tree’. I had to know if it was you. They’re so mean to you.” He bent his head to eat his noodles, when he realized what I had said. “Wait, why were you at the nurse?!? Are you sick??” He pressed his wrist against my forehead. He leaned closer than was probably necessary, but I appreciated the concern.

“No no, I’m not sick. A couple basketballs were thrown at my head at once, and one hit my eye. So I was at the nurse.” Jinhong stared at me in horror, shocked by my nonchalance. “I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me.”

“Hongseob, they’re hurting you. Have you told a teacher? A coach?” I shook my head, studying my shrimp. He didn’t need know that after I told the first time, the normal 6 or 7 basketballs increased to 10 or 11 balls flying at my head.

“The teachers don’t care. As long as the kids graduate and they get their paycheck. Anything else is extra and unnecessary.” Jinhong moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He smelled like apples and cinnamon, like warmth and safety. It took everything in me to keep from burying my face in his neck.

“It’ll be okay now. I’ll protect you.”

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
From that day on, Jinhong was at my side. We ate lunch together, did homework together. He tutored me in math, I tutored him in English. I taught him theatre games and he taught me the bright side of life.

I was still bullied. I still got the regular 6 balls to the head, but I started actually trying to dodge.

Jinhong was popular, despite being new. The girls liked him because he was charming and handsome. The boys liked him because he was athletic and “cool”. The teachers liked him because he was respectful and interested in learning. And I loved him because… well, everything they didn’t know.

I knew how Jinhong worked. I was his first friend. I knew all his secrets, the inner workings of his restless mind. I knew he wanted to be a singer since the beginning, and he deserved it, really.

He had a beautiful singing voice, not too high and not too low. I guess I fell in love with that, too.

I had wanted to be a dancer ever since I was little. Jinhong told me that when we get to college, we can do what we want, strive for what we want. The future is ours to decide. I guess I believed him, back then.

Back then... things were so much simpler. Back when we were young. Back when we weren’t expected to plan our whole lives out. Back before I knew I loved him.

But now, we’re adults. We have a future to think of, a career to prepare for. I can only hope and dream…

******************************************************************************************************************************************  
It was a normal Saturday in our apartment. Me reading on the couch, Changsun sitting on the rug playing video games, and Kisu cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The only person missing was Jinhong, which wasn’t really that odd. He always liked going out early and just wandering.

Suddenly, the door banged open and Jinhong’s voice rang out. “Seobbie! Sunny-hyung! Kisu-hyung! I have someone for you to meet!”

As much as I don’t want to jump to conclusions, my heart dropped to my feet. Jinhong brought someone home? Of course, this person could be a new friend he’d made while on his walk. But you never know.

Changsun paused his game and rolled to his feet, pausing to haul me off the couch. Kisu joined us as we approached the door. In the doorway stood Jinhong and… a girl. A beautiful girl with long black hair and kind brown eyes. She smiled at the gathered boys and bowed. “Boys! This is Aeri! My girlfriend!”

I could feel my face freeze for a moment. Girlfriend? Jinhong had a girlfriend? I really did wait too long… I quickly forced a smile as I felt Jinhong’s eyes on me. I was his best friend, of course he would want me to like his girlfriend. For him… I guess I could try.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

I’ll just have to love him from a distance. I know it will be hard. It will hurt worse than any wound I’ve had. As much as it kills me, I’ll walk away. There was never a time that I didn’t love him. Maybe next time, fate will be kinder. But in this life, our story ends here.

I guess it’s true, what they say: first love never lasts. I’ll move on, I just need to remember everything I went through with Jinhong. It’ll take awhile, I won’t move on easily, because I loved him truly, but in time, I think I will heal. I never had a chance with him, but maybe I thought I could dream.

“Congratulations,” I told him. “I’m so happy for you.” It’s okay; I’m okay. I know our friends are watching me closely, watching my reaction. It’s okay; I’m okay. Life goes on, right? The sun keeps shining, the Earth remains in its orbit. My skies may be raining and dismal, but his sun is shining. _It’s okay; I’m okay._


End file.
